A Cure for the Common Cold Feet
The Disappearing Baton
I was in the trumpet section when a friend of mine mounted the podium to conduct for the first time. He opened his conductor’s score and after a few nervous moments, he dramatically lifted his baton. Curiously, people in the audience were suddenly ducking and screaming. I didn’t realize what had happened until someone walked up to the stage to hand him back his baton.
“And we find what we're made of through the open door. Is it fear you're afraid of? What are you waiting for?
Love alone is worth the fight.”-Jon Foreman
Students often ask me how to calm their nerves before a big performance. It’s a great question. After all fear is an inevitable part of life, but it’s harder to rehearse than crescendos and quarter notes. Let’s take apart some of the cliché advice for overcoming fear and see if we can discover more practical strategies along the way.
“Face Your Fears!”
It’s sound advice but incomplete. Whether for a show, an interview, breaking hard news, or an argument with your girlfriend, if we thrust ourselves into high pressure situations without any mental preparation, reckless “fear facing” can lead to more problems or at best, embarrassment.
How can we mentally prepare to face our fears with poise and boldness?
Brain-Venting
A calm and quiet mind is important before we interact with an audience, because like any conversation, people can tell if we are present and listening or frantically thinking about other things.
To begin, step outside and look for a nearby landmark like a stop sign. Walk toward it at a comfortable pace, and as you do, allow yourself to open your daydreaming floodgates.
Overthink everything that is giving you anxiety. Allow yourself to feel any emotions you have been holding in. No thoughts or feelings are out of bounds. I like to pray. This is the first part of brain-venting.
Once you reach your destination, stop brain-venting and try to completely quiet your mind for as long as you can. In the beginning, you will not last very long, but even a second or two is a good start. As thoughts and feelings invade your mind (and they will), acknowledge them and place them aside. I tell myself, “Dave, you had your chance to brain-vent. You’ll have another chance later. Now is the time to be still.”
Over time, you will be able to sustain that stillness longer. At my peak, I was lasting about fifteen minutes. I’m sure you will be able to top that over soon.
If you do not have time to walk, drive to your gig a little early, park, and brain-vent before you leave the car. As I mentioned earlier, practicing this before a hard conversation or new experience is a great way to prepare yourself before you step out.
Early in my performing career, I did not want to seem nervous to my audience, so I would try to force myself to calm down. Then with a mindless explosion of adrenaline and enthusiasm, I usually ended up experiencing my own version of The Disappearing Baton. Learning to tune my feelings and thoughts allowed me to feel focused and excited instead of nervous and sweaty before showtime.
“Fear Itself”
“the only thing we have to fear is fear itself — nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror
which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.” - Franklin D. Roosevelt
A little bit of fear before entering the spotlight is a good sign. If you have rehearsed well, a healthy measure of nervousness shows that you truly care about your audience. It means that you want to honor the precious time they have decided to give you.
Yes, “fear itself” is an intimidating creature but it’s not your enemy. Stand firm in your intentions and then use tools like brain-venting to “convert retreat into advance.”
Advanced: The Cave
We can face our fears by facing ourselves. Just as healthy relationships require mutual honesty and humility, brain-venting as a daily practice requires that we face ourselves honestly.
This vulnerability might cause you to revisit painful memories, insecurity or trauma. It may cause you to recognize deep flaws and shortcomings. This kind of harsh feedback is the exact reason most people flee from stages in the first place.
But consider the work of Homer, Plato or even George Lucas. The hero must enter the darkest cave, struggle, and even fail miserably in order to understand his fatal flaws. He must master himself before he can become a hero. Even the Pslamist, David cries out to God to reveal the inner darkness that he knows could destroy him:
"Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!”
Artists, when we make a practice of brain-venting, we enter the cave. We can be swallowed up by our past and fear or we can emerge with clearer self insight. We can surrender to regret or begin to heal, forgive and grow. When we face our flaws, stop rejecting ourselves, and become more concerned with personal growth, there’s hardly a chance to let the fear of rejection corner us.
We all have baggage. But you are an artist! And the work of an artist demands self-sacrifice, practice, and devotion to your craft and the audience. You can count the cost and yet charge into the cave if you see it as your personal, professional and artistic duty.
You might ask: Haven’t artists through the ages created beautiful work in spite of being tormented by their demons? Yes. And many artists have suffered and even died because they refused to face them. Do not let your artistic gift cause you to forget that your character still and will always need forming.
Every person in our audience is struggling too. Imagine the power of a show that lifts the audience’s baggage for a moment through the genuine and contagious joy that flows from a person who has faced himself and won. That is my artistic mission, and I continue to fight for it by the grace of God. Soli deo gloria. Thanks for listening to my brain-vent.